the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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