Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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