pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
