My friends, they love my intelligence
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
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I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
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I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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