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• (207): View more from Maine

  there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Do you have a shampoo for semen

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Or a time machine

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm hungry

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel like I smell like bad decisions

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