I skipped work to stalk him.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
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Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
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I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times