You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄