Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin