omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
