Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize