Only a mothe r could love this liver
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
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He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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