There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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