I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
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We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
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DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.