a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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