There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.