It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
