She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
