He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We had to coat check the pizza.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
