ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
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I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
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Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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