Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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