i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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