That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
