Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
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He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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