Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize