it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
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I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
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Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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