i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize