So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
