4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
