Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me