So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.