got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.