Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
