I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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