He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
