Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?