I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone