Plan B is the new Plan A
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize