We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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