You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
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I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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