I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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