How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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