So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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