How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
