hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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