just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize