i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
