Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Acid is not a monday night drug
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
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I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
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I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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