____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
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Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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