i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
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If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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