Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.