note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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