she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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