Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
