Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
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He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
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The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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