and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I supernannyed him into submission
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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