A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Randomize