I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
